I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
