I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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