I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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