Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize