you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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