What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
