Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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