birth control should be required to get into college
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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