ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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