OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If that was your dad, he is hot
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish my penis had a tongue
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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