i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
