My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
