Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
