BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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