i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize