he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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