haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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