It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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