I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
