I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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