Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
