Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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