Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
