i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
