that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
