you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
