im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
