She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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