Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
