It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
