OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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