you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
