im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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