I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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