I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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