I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
