Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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