My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize