Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
