He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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