Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize