girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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