OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
