I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
