white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
splinters make it hard to masturbate
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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