Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
