do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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