so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
