My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
