They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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