i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
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