plz talk dirty to me
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Houston, we have a squirter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
