They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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