I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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