chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
