we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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