Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
