i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
