So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize