Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
