You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
