Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
