um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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