Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
