Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
