Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
