Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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